is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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