he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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