i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
