I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
