He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
