Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
