He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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