Already got asked if we're dating
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
