we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
