i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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