He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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