its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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