he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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