i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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