We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
