Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
