dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
