Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish you could order shots online.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
