y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
