Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
