Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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