As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
