Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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