Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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