All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
