I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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