i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
