Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
