that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
