We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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