marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You really coming over, don't trick.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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