Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
