two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
