You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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