God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
