I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
