At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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