He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
