Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
