I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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