What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
