doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
