What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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