I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
