This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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