Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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