And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
