yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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