I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
