yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
