I puked a lego.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
